Thursday, August 25, 2005

The best night ever


Brett and I worked together on Tuesday night at the shoe store. We close up shop at 9pm and at 8:30 decided to move a Dr. Marten's tower on top of one of the shelves in the backroom, leaving the salesfloor devoid of salespeople. Clearly this was a big mistake. About 15 minutes later I went out to the salesfloor only to see that we had around 10 customers in the store. I helped a man find a pair of "comfortable shoes that I can wear all day and my feet won't hurt at all". Aren't we all looking for those magic shoes?

He asked about some brands (mainly choosing styles he liked) and I told him that the best for all day standing would be Birkenstock, Ecco and Keen. Well, Birkenstock and Ecco run for at least $150/pair so he asked to try on some Keen and Timberland.

He really liked the Keen and asked if we'd have enough in stock for him to purchase some next week. I told him that we should and he and his wife left.

The time was 8:58.

Just then another man rushed into the store and asked to try on "some models of shoes". "Are you closing? I can come back some other time." "Yes, but since you're here you can take a look," I said.

My first mistake.

He was impressed by the fact that Timberlands only cost around $100.

"In Italy," he mentioned, "Timberland is a very popular brand and they cost at least $200."

"Oh," I said. I was not impressed. The only thing about this man that impressed me was the size of his balls for trying on shoes after I told him the store was closed.

He tried on shoe after shoe after shoe. He told me he needed a size 9. I found 8's and 10's in pretty much every style he wanted, but no 9's. And even though he knew the 8's and 10's would not fit, he still wanted to try on each style I brought out.

While this man was still trying on shoes, the couple (Keen man) from before came in and began talking to Brett.

The time at that time was 9:15pm.

The man asked Brett what kind of deal Brett could give him (on a pair of $90 shoes, which is the average price for a pair of shoes in our store). Brett regretfully said, "I'm sorry, but I can't do anything like that." The man responded with "Then who can?"

The nerve. Brett said we would have to contact our corporate office (lie) if we ever mark shoes down (lie) or give customers a discount. A lie through and through, but it at least made the couple leave.

I then checked on another Tim for the Italian and found a 9. He liked these shoes and asked me how to clean this particular type of leather (nubuck). I showed him the recommended product and he decided to go with that and the size 9's I brought out for him.

After all was said and done, he had tried on 9 pairs of shoes. When I rang up the shoe care product and the shoes the total was $104.96. He then proceeded to haggle with me.

"Eh, no discount? How about 10%?"

How about no.

"I'm sorry," I said. "We can't do things like that."

"Just this once, give me a little break, eh?"

I'll give you a break, I thought.

I didn't buckle, which is slightly unlike me, and he paid full price. Just as he left the store, I pulled down and locked the gate.

9:21pm.

Brett and I took a few minutes to vent and share stories of the 2 customers.

"What did he say to you?" I asked Brett, referring to Keen man. He told me and then I told him about the Italian haggler.

We both agreed that those 2 customers sucked.

Check out http://www.italianhagglers.com for all of your haggling needs.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

More Ryan stories and funny T-shirts

I had forgotten about some of the funny things Ryan (Do you have to pay to pawk?) had said to me during summer school, so when I stumbled upon a paper with quotes from him, I thought I'd share them with you. Ryan actually asked me this first one and I had to ask him to repeat it.

Ryan: "Can we make the Pop Tart movie?"

When I asked him to repeat it, he said the same thing. I asked him what he meant and he said, "What do you mean?" I said, "What do you mean about the Pop Tart movie?" And he said, "Huh?" I decided to leave it at that.

The second is mostly just funny because of the quote itself and not the context in which it was presented. Apparently some other child was saying something to him that made him feel like he had to respond in this way. It seems like he's heard someone say something like it before (2 words...) and tried to use it, but just didn't tweak it enough...

Ryan: "Two words---you scare me."

This last one is the coup de grace. Honestly I've never actually had my jaw drop before in an elementary setting and I think this one would make anyone perk up their ears and wonder where on earth he got this idea. Someone was copying what he was saying...

Ryan: "You're a copycat, that means you lied to God."

Huh.

I'll remember that the next time I feel the need to be a copycat.

The rest of my summer has been going well. I've been busy with Bachelor parties and weddings (I have 5 weddings in the months of August and September) and getting poorer every day. A hey hey hey. I can't wait for school to start again...the money will be flowing like no one's business. (Well, my business).

The next pictures are taken from bustedtees and they're just a taste of what's in store (pun intended) for you there. Check out the site and see if you can dig it.





Well, Kenya?












Brilliant.










That guy would do anything!












It's a rough life when you're really really good looking.